Unintentional Wet Nurse Circa 2010
Posted by realityrounds on February 15, 2010
Imagine if you will. You just delivered a baby in a hospital. After recovery the baby is transferred to the nursery so you can rest. In the middle of the night a baby is brought to you by an aide, “Your baby wants you!,” so you can nurse him. You breastfeed your baby, half asleep. A nurse walks in, astonished. She tells you that you are not feeding your own baby, but someone else’s. You breastfed the wrong baby.
What would you do? How would you feel? You just breastfed a baby who was not yours. It was a mistake. Human error. No physical harm was done to the moms or babies involved. But…….what would you do?
I can only surmise what I would have done, or felt if I was put in this situation. I can not imagine that it would be very traumatic for me to breastfeed another woman’s child in my exhaustion. I would guess my attitude would have been, oops, oh well. I may have felt very differently if it was MY baby who was breastfed by another woman. But that is not what happened in this case in point. I can never really know how I would have felt, or what I would have done.
When something like this happens in reality, when the wrong baby is brought to the wrong mom, litigation may follow. Regardless of harm done. Human error, mistakes, are inevitable in a hospital setting, and they are often unforgivable but the public.
So again I ask, what would you have done if you breastfed the wrong baby?
RR
Margaret said
Honestly my attitude would be “oh well” also. It wouldn’t bother me. I would probably ask that the other mom be reassured regarding my health status though….
If MY baby was breastfed by someone else, I wouldn’t be overly freaked out, but I would want to know if they had any colds and inquire about HIV status. But…here’s a question….would I have any right to find out the mom’s HIV status?
Margaret said
*ETA I would be a little concerned if I fed another baby, but more that the error happened and the bracelets weren’t checked correctly. I wouldn’t make a huge fuss about it.
Stassja said
I would be upset, but more about the error than the actual breastfeeding. That alone, wouldn’t bother me. Baby got a free meal of some colostrum off me, not a world ender! But I would want my baby immediately, and I would be disturbed that they brought me the wrong baby. What if it had been meds or some other procedure, like a circumcision, that they had grabbed the wrong baby for?
Kathy said
I would be most concerned about the mix-up, and wondering how it could have happened, and what if the next baby they brought to me wasn’t mine! That would severely undermine my confidence in “the system” that let it happen (however that error occurred). And as Stassja said, what if it was the wrong baby given medicine or surgery? That could be irreparable.
Of course, stories like these are cautionary tales that could be used to promote rooming-in — the fewer babies in the nursery, the less possibility of any two getting switched; or home-birth — no possibility of a baby switch then! But, no, I don’t think I would sue. Based on the article you linked to, I didn’t hear a good reason for a lawsuit from the family. If anyone has the right to sue, I would think it would be the family of the baby.
oliviaena said
The breastfeeding itself wouldn’t bother me, but the mix up would freak me out. Where is MY baby?! Where is this baby’s mother?!
The hospital I birthed at had a pretty good system to prevent mix ups and kidnappings. Mother and baby had matching braclets, and mother had to say the number on her bracelet for the nurse to confirm with my baby anytime she was brought back to mother’s room (my baby didn’t leave often, thankfully). The nurse, no matter if she just saw me 10 min earlier, ALWAYS verified the number before handing my baby to me.
The baby also had an alarm cuffed around her ankle that would sound if she was taken past the maternity ward doors.
Rixa said
I’m an “oh well” kind of person about the breastfeeding–but I would be quite upset about the mixup in general. Well, I should say that I don’t think this scenario could/would happen to me, because if I were in a hospital there’s no way I’d be letting my baby out of my sight–especially not to go to the nursery at night.
mommymichael said
I agree with the previous comments. The mix-up would bother me, not the fact that I fed another baby.
lpnmon said
This kind of story is why I found myself standing in the nursery the night after giving birth, while they drew blood from the baby. He never left my sight. If he had, and they’d brought me the wrong kiddo back, I would be a lot like the pp’s. Freaked by the mix-up, nonplussed by the nursing. I would ask the nurses to ask if the real mom would like to meet me, see if that would help her be not so worried. I would want to meet the woman who had nursed my baby by accident.
Re: AIDS status, I would guess that HIPAA rules that cover exposure would work here, where they would test everyone, and let people know if they had been exposed. That can be done without breaching confidentiality.
ladydilee said
“Scott Spiegel, 33, an attorney who is handling the lawsuit, recalled: “I asked the nurse to take me to him right away.”"
This quote is why they are suing. The father is an attorny. How much do you want to bet that if neither parent were a lawyer, we wouldn’t be hearing about this? In addition, I bet he is the one driving it, and the mother, after getting over her shock, was willing to let it drop.
Personally, I might persue tighter security protocols or a rooming in policy, but I wouldn’t sue. But lawyers see the opportunity to get “at least $30,000″ out of a human error mistake, and they jump at it. This just means that next time something like this happens, the nurse is more likely to try to cover it up. Rather than saying, “Hey, your baby is in the nursery, I was just there,” she would instead make some excuse to take the wrong baby away without letting the mother know it was the wrong baby, and just let the slip up slide.
Elizabeth said
Please be careful about being so quick to criticize lawyers. Believe it or not, some of the readers of this blog are married to wonderful lawyers and not every one of them sees an opportunity to make $30,000 from every human error. It could very well be that the mother is very upset over this or that they didn’t feel the hospital was going to react and respond accordingly unless they were threatened with a lawsuit. Could it possibly be that the money is out there to ensure that the hospital figures out how to make sure this doesn’t happen again?
Erin said
The idea of being given a child other than your own and the prescribed safety measures not being followed is much scarier than just breastfeeding another woman’s child. Honestly, I don’t think that I can blame them for wanting to sue; it brings attention to these safety measures that need to be very strictly adhered to.
brenna said
Like most of the other comments, I’d be more upset that an error had occurred, not about feeding another baby. I’d probably be much more upset if it had been my baby being fed by another woman, just based on possible health concerns.
I would want to know all related health issues that could be cause for concern (if it had been my baby, not the one doing the feeding), and I would absolutely sue for that information if I couldn’t get it any other way. I would also considering suing for the hospital to update their security procedures and for proof that they were being implemented. The only way I can imagine suing for money would be if a long-term medical issue resulted from the error (again, if it was my baby).
Ryann said
As long as I knew MY baby was fine I would have laughed long and hard.
mindexplosion said
I don’t know what I’d do, specifically. I think I would be upset that an error like that happened. And then I’d probably be wondering if any mistakes had occurred to MY baby.
It would bother me for sure.
MrsW said
I was so stressed out about breastfeeding the first few days, I think I would have been mad that I had gone through a feeding that wasn’t giving MY baby any nutrition. And like previous posters have said, if MY baby was being fed by another woman, I would be worried about her health status. But I wouldn’t sue, certainly… I mean, I haven’t lost anything material except a few ounces of colostrum.
Sarah said
I would be in the oh well camp. I usually dressed my infants in clothing from home so they would look different from the others. Every hospital has the same white with pink-blue stripe receiving blankets
Lisa said
This is why my boys both roomed in with me and NEVER left the sight of either myself, my husband or my mother the entire stay in the hospital.
If I could be brought another woman’s baby, who knows what could have happened to mine?
Kathryn said
that another baby had fed from my breasts? Ain’t no big; I have friends with kids the same age as mine, and we all cross-nursed. That the hospital was able to confuse one baby for another baby? That’s a pretty big deal, and one definitely worth suing over if I felt the hospital wasn’t taking it seriously enough.
Erin said
Like almost everyone here I wouldn’t care at all about the issue of BF someone else’s child. I’ve never cross-nursed, but I’m a believer in it. I think the health concerns over cross-nursing are over-hyped. While it’s true that I might inquire as to the possible diseases my baby might have been exposed to, I would also be aware that transmission of such disease (esp HIV) are *extremely* low via breast milk, especially after only one feeding. (I’m also a milk donor and have been tested extensively, and would freely and happily offer this information to the parents in question were I the bf mother.) Basically, I think the only babies that should be in nurseries are the ones under observation for a medical reason – everyone else should be safely tucked next to mom and dad. I never took my eyes off my baby from the moment he was born to when we left the hospital. I also think that the safety issues of this example are fairly minor (it’s not like someone left the hospital with the wrong baby).
enjoybirth said
I wouldn’t care about feeding the wrong baby. I have fed my SIL baby, of course that was on purpose. But I would certainly feel concerned about where my baby was!
Aequa said
I would have laughed it off and told the nurses to assure the parents that I had no bloodborne diseases! It would have made a good story for later!
My sister and I had our daughters 3 months apart and we both breastfed our nieces-she did it because I thought mine was having latching troubles and she ‘tested’ her, and I did because my niece was lactose intolerant and my sis was unable to pump, so if she wanted to go out she needed me to nurse. I don’t see anything wrong with feeding a baby that isn’t mine.
Dou-la-la said
Like others, my primary reaction was ROOMING IN FTW! And I think a lawsuit is a frivolous overreaction that serves only to underscore what another commenter rightly termed the overhyped concerns about cross-nursing.
I blame that stupid scene in “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle”. Remember that “Fatal Attraction”-meets-”The Nanny” mess from the 80′s? Where Rebecca de Mornay forever cemented the image of a woman* nursing another woman’s baby as the ultimate in creepy baby-stalker behavior?
Anyway, we need to get over that already.
*Who is barren and therefore obsessed and unbalanced, natch.
Karen said
I am most shocked that people are so surprised that mistakes are made in the hospital. Just because it happens all the time doesn’t mean it’s ok, but it certainly does happen all the time and indeed kills many many people.
The nursing seems mostly hilarious, what in god’s name are they suing for? because they feel their psychological trauma will be amerliorated by $30,000? Ack.
Cori said
I would’ve been kind of disappointed, to tell the truth. My baby was one of those cases where they just don’t get it, it’s only been in the past week that he’s started latching on, and he is a month old now. If I’d managed to start nursing in the hospital, and then realized that it was because it wasn’t my baby, well, that would’ve been sort of a let-down, to pardon the pun. Like everyone else, the only thing I would’ve been upset about is that the hospital wasn’t taking better care.
julie said
Wow, that is thought provoking.
I once found that someone had brought the wrong baby to the wrong mom at my last hospital. I was completely freaked out~
I am actually having a hard time remembering the outcome. (some 20 years ago)
Personally, I absolutely agree with you…I would be better if i had the wrong baby latched on to me rather than vice versa.
Hmmmm, it would definitely be odd. And knowing how strong the bond was to my baby, how even the smell of other babies was actually off putting to me when I had my infants, I very well may have had a strong reaction and have gotten emotional.
Cloud said
We roomed in both times, so there was no way this could have happened to us.
If it HAD happened to us with our first baby, and that other baby had actually latched on and nursed… I don’t know what my actual reaction would have been, but it should have been “thanks for sorting that out” because my first baby had a heck of a time latching on at first. It was part her and part me, and probably a baby who was “better” at nursing could have sorted out the part of the problem that was mine.
Brian said
Geez are you kidding me? Lawsuit? Remember the phrase “It take a Village to raise a child”? Does that philosophy not include breast feeding? We seriously need to get OVER ourselves as a society.