A little history.  This weekend Jill from The Unnecesarean, posted a very well thought out piece on race issues and childbirth.  To some of her readers’ chagrin, another well-known birth blogger who has very different views on childbirth, chimed in.  Dr.Amy from the Skeptical OB blog added many, many comments to Jill’s post which left a lot of Jill’s readers furious.  Because I work in a hospital, I can actually agree and sympathize with a lot of Dr. Amy’s points.  But there is also so much cynicism and lack of compassion in her points that it makes me suspicious that she is deliberately trying to push buttons for attention. (I could be wrong though).    The comments on the thread was a debate about childbirth choice, racism, class warfare, natural childbirth, modern obstetrics and many more issues.  If you want to go down that rabbit hole of comments, check out Jill’s site (linked above).

I of course, being the class act that I am, stayed above the fray (actually, I am a NICU nurse and do not have enough OB knowledge to even leave a good comment).  The blog war did inspire me, the class act that I am, to write a rap song inspired by this Dr. Amy thread.  It is not so much a song about Dr. Amy’s actual birth practices, but the general distortion and demeaning of “alternative” methods of birth, and Dr. Amy’s presence in the blogosphere.

Please sing in the tune of Kanye West’s “Gold digger”. (Because who else would you think of when debating American childbirth than Kanye West?…..God, I need help.)

She take my web hits when she in need

Yeah she’s a trifling “friend” indeed

Oh she’s a blog digger, way over town

That dig’s on me

**********

Doctor the bomb

Met her at the website Salon

With perinatal statistics under her underarm

She always right

Yeah she never be wrong

And if you ready to push,

She’ll say you’re closed, thick and long.

**********

Now I aint saying she a blog digger

But she aint messin’ with  low traffik-ers

Now I aint saying she a blog digger

But she aint messin’ with  low traffik-ers

**********

21 years, 21 years

Plaintiff attorney got docs for 21 years

You say you wanna push and not be pushed to the O-R

But  lawyers on docs backs want to make themselves richer, and docs poor-er

**********

Now I aint saying she a blog digger

But she aint messin’ with  low traffik-ers

Now I aint saying she a blog digger

But she aint messin’ with  low traffik-ers

**********

Now you had one C-Section and feel under attack

Cause you want a normal birth, yeah you want a nice VBAC

But she will scare you to death, and you will not get to far

And you will leave her institution with a second  uterine scar.

**********

Now I aint sayin’ she a blog digger to get someone mad

She got a website to promote, have you seen all her blog ads?

She wants babies to be safe and women to be healthy

But to generate traffic you must be controversial and stealthy

**********

So let’s stick by her side, yeah that’s what I said , yeah that’s right

You can get your word out, yeah you can put up a fight

Cuz’ when she done slammin NCB and homebirth no further,

She’ll leave all our asses to hi-jack an unassisted childbirther.

*I should probably just stick to my day job.*

RR