Comments on: The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit is a War Zone

By: Fantastic Kangaroo Care and Skin-to-Skin Contact Resources « Woman to Woman Childbirth Education

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:18:19 +0000

[...] second post is NICU is a war zone — stressful for the parents, stressful for the baby, stressful for the workers. Finally, [...]

By: Melissa D

Melissa D — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 06:21:58 +0000

Another mom of a premie chiming in to say thank you for doing what you do, and saying what you say.

I’ve read a bunch of your posts now, and you’re so right. My little guy was born very early but otherwise healthy (good size for gestational age, no other medical problems) and sailed through his 70-day NICU stay, so we had a very easy time of it compared to most families with premies – and it was STILL incredibly traumatizing.

I do understand if you need to leave blogging. Who needs to take this nasty garbage from a bunch of mindless, dogma-steeped fanatics who really have no idea what you’re talking about? Especially after a shift of what I’m sure is the hardest job in the world? Either way, thanks so much for writing – and thanks for being a NICU nurse.

By: realityrounds

realityrounds — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 03:52:06 +0000

Kari,
Thank you so much for your comment. You sound like a fantastic mom! The NICU is traumatic. Period. In your experience, is there anyway to make it less so for a parent? I would appreciate your input.

By: Kari

Kari — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 03:39:17 +0000

Not sure what to write… the wounds are still so fresh. Even that sounds ridiculous because 3 months ago I brought healthy (other than reflux) twins home from the NICU after an 11 week stay. How can I even talk about wounds with two healthy, nurse around the clock, babies? I don’t know. But I do know this, after 9 years of working in birth… having four other babies of my own (3 at home) and educating and advocating for a variety of families, thoughts of the NICU and birth in general bring complete darkness to my mind. I can’t even go there right now… I’d rather not think about and just pretend that these beautiful twins that I love so much… just dropped from the sky three months ago. I don’t know what the answer is for better caring for parents… but I do know that I am eternally grateful to the handful of nurses that supported me in my daily struggles to parent my babies how I knew best… despite NICU policies and doctors that adamantly disagreed with me. Those nurses acknowledged that these babies were MINE, not the NICU’s, and encouraged me to continue to advocate for my kids. One thing I noticed is that the nurses that were better advocates tended to have been traveling nurses at some point… they knew that the policies in this particular NICU were not the only way to do things and they weren’t afraid of those neonatologists who think they know everything (and have no room for parent or nurse suggestions/ideas). And I hope that the patient advocates (social workers, etc.) are more autonomous at other NICUs b/c at ours, they were afraid to support patients too much or they’d get in trouble with the lead neonatologist… my only allies were a handful of nurses and the dietician!

By: Chou

Chou — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 02:28:58 +0000

Ah, this is an interesting/painful glimpse into a world that most of us shy away from ever thinking about. Your compassion is needed, thank you.

By: Adriana

Adriana — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:48:30 +0000

I came across your website and absolutely love it. I am looking at becoming a nurse. I’ve always had a passion and desire to do it, but never thought I would be “smart” enough. Now that I am older and wiser, I know better.
My daughter was born a micro preemie, 26 2/7 weeks at a 1lb 12 oz. She is 18months old now and doing amazing. I just want to thank all the nurses that took such great care of her and me. It was an emotional rollercoaster. I remember days I would leave and all her stats were prefect, then call in the middle of the night while pumping and she wasn’t doing very well. I would think, how could her status change so quickly. Then I wouldn’t sleep cause I would think was that the last time I would see her alive. That thought crossed my mind ever time I left, would I see her alive again or what if she died while I was not around. The part you wrote about “You watch and listen as other parents babies suffer and face medical emergencies day in and day out. Is my baby next?” that is so true. I would get myself emotionally involved with other families when they had to let their baby go. I would cry for them and their pain, then think about my baby. Everything you said is so true. It is a war zone and you are caught in it. I have had some time to heal but there isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think about it. I have turned my experience into fire and determination on becoming a nurse and helping others. I feel much stronger and empowered by the experience. I thank my daughter everyday for the lessons she has thought me and the strength she has given me. She is a true miracle and blessing.
I do want to give all the NICU nurses a huge thank you. You are all such a angles and thank god for your strength and courage to work with these fragile babies. I don’t know how you do it. Thank you for comforting me when I sat on the chair with my hands in the incubator and cried all day. Thank you for taking such amazing and thorough care of my girl and knowing she was sick before she knew she was getting sick. To all the NICU nurses, thank you for choosing that unit and that path, all the babies and families need you. You will never know how much gratitude and appreciation I have for you. You are my angels.

By: realityrounds

realityrounds — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 02:37:17 +0000

Thanks! I agree that the PICU can be just as bad.

By: mindexplosion

mindexplosion — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 02:21:35 +0000

I totally agree with that. I think the PICU is similar (even though it isn’t newborns, but when their children who were supposed to be healthy end up in an ICU…it’s the same concept).
Great post!
I’m in nursing school now and stumbled across your blog. I love it! Keep up the writing.

By: Anne

Anne — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:17:07 +0000

Reality Rounds,

I just hope the work that gets done in this area is not mass drugging of parents with NICU experiences. Kind of like the Mothers’ Act and prenatal PPD screening, I fear that’s where this will go.

That caveat in mind, however, agreed…parents’ emotional health and confidence in their parenting skills should be kept in mind by all medical professionals treating them or their kids, to the extent possible. Thanks for posting this…as always, you make a great point.

By: Frosty

Frosty — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 04:47:35 +0000

Right on, RR. There is work that needs to be done. I think that the work begins with adequate staffing in many places.

I’ve only been at this a little while. In my fourth year, my technical and organizational skills are not yet at their peaks. But I think there’s a reason why we focus on the physical needs: because there just isn’t time to get it all done. Even though we recognize the prevalence of medical error and even though customer service is a new priority in nursing, there are still units where it’s okay to assign a high-frequency baby with two nipple feeders, because “two of those are really easy babies.”

Ideally, the nurse should never have to choose between starting the pressors and explaining the pressors. Many of us, however, work in far-from-ideal worlds. It’s not that we’re lazy, or that we can’t recognize the emotional suffering. It’s just that we’re unfairly forced to prioritize. As a former NICU baby who grew up listening to stories about the ups and downs of dealing with a serious medical condition, I know all too well how important the medical and psychosocial aspects are. It just kills me that I so often leave work feeling like the job wasn’t completed.