Chivalry may not be dead (prove it),  but tact is when it comes to talking to a woman of childbearing age (nowadays that is what, ages 9 to 75?). I have heard some outrageous things said to the female species in my career and personally,  when it comes to the birth of a child.  Here are just a few:

Getting Pregnant

“So exactly when did you get pregnant?”  To the newlywed announcing the joyous news.

“You’re trying to hard”  To the couple trying desperately to conceive.

“You’re not trying hard enough.”  To the couple trying desperately to conceive.

“Why don’t you just adopt already.”  To a woman suffering from infertility.

“You’re pregnant again?!”  To a woman who just had a baby, or who already has many children.

“You should just sleep in separate bedrooms.”  A social worker’s note in a chart of a teenage mom on preventing further pregnancies.

Gestating

“God, you’re huge!”  To the short statured, first time pregnant mom, me.

“You are really small!”  To the really small mom.

“It only gets worse”  To the mom with small complaints about her new pregnancy, me.

“Get your rest now, because you will never sleep again when the baby is born.”  To the tired pregnant woman, me.

“Having two (or three, four, etc..), is sooo much harder than having one.”  To the mom on her second, etc pregnancy, me.

“Your hips are too small.  You will need a C-Section.”  To me.

“You have birthing hips.  The baby will just slide out.”  To me.

“You are having a girl.  Girls steal your beauty.”  To me.

“You barely look pregnant!”  Not to me.

Labor and Delivery

“You are crazy not to want an epidural.  Just wait until the contractions hit.”  To the mom wanting natural childbirth, me.

“It feels like menstrual cramps.”  My sister who has birthing hips and whose babies just slid out, to me.

“It felt like my body was being ripped apart.”  What I say in my head, but never to pregnant moms.

“Just one more push!”.  To the mom who is destined to push 20 more times.

“Just Relax!.  Just don’t say it.

“I will sew you up as good as the day you were married.”  To the mom getting her episiotomy/tear repaired.

“What’s wrong with you?  You no know how push?!”  Asian nurse friend to me when she found out I had a

C-Section.

The Baby

“Oh, next time you can try for a boy.”  To the mom still in stirrups who just delivered her second girl, me.

“The baby will sleep better with a bottle during the night.”  To the breastfeeding mom.

“Is that really the name you want?”  To the new parents filling out the birth certificate.

“Babies can’t see.”  The mother-in-law to the new mom.

“You do not have enough milk.”  The mother-in-law who wants to feed the baby herself.

“You have no milk.  Baby hungry.”  Asian nurse friend as she grabs my small lactating boobs in middle of public hospital hallway.

“Crying it out is good for the baby.”  To mom of 3 week old colicky baby, me.

On Pregnancy/Infant Loss

“You’re young.  You can always try for another baby.”

“Why don’t you adopt?”

“It is for the best.”

“At least you have your other child/children.”

“It is nature’s/God’s way.”

“It wasn’t meant to be.”

*I am sure I am missing many more quotes of what not to say to a woman of childbirthing age.  Any more suggestions?

RR