My personal introduction to women’s health care was less than stellar, it was borderline traumatic. As a teenager I suffered from debilitating menstrual cramps, and was persuaded to see an OB/Gyne to get checked out. I of course was terrified, and had no idea what to expect. I remember laying on the exam table, completely naked expect for the very fashionable paper gown. I waited, and waited and waited, and stared and counted all the white ceiling tiles about a hundred times over. Finally in walks the OB/Gyne. A brief introduction in a very heavily accented English. Told me to lay back and relax (uh huh), and proceeds to do a pelvic exam with no explanation whatsoever. It hurt. Big time. I did not cry or protest, but I did make “ouchie” noises as quietly as a could. I was determined to be a big girl and not upset the doctor. It didn’t work.
“What is wrong with you? This does not hurt. I am using a baby speculum. One we use for babies! Are you a baby?”
Me: “Sorry doctor”. Yes, I actually apologized for wincing during my painful, teenager, pelvic exam.
Speaking with some other female friends, they all said they had similar experiences, so I thought this was normal. I avoided check ups like the plague, until one day my old OB/Gyne was no longer in practice. I went doctor shopping and hopping, and never really bonded with any of my docs.
I eventually found an OB/Gyne I really liked. She was respectful, talked to me with my clothes on, and explained everything that she was doing. Finally! Everything changed however, when I became pregnant. My doctor treated and looked at me like I was the enemy. It was weird. She was tense, and curse, and did not appreciate my many pregnancy questions. I was taken aback, and quite hurt actually. I thought naively, that she would share in my joy. She was my OB for crying out loud. Every request I had for my labor was curtly denied. No residents to examine me…No way. Natural childbirth….We’ll try…..No IV…No way. At every prenatal appointment I hoped she would turn back into the awesome doctor I had gotten to know. This never happened, and when I went into labor, I was actually happy she was not on call, and one of her partners delivered me.
After my first painful birth experience via C-Section, and three months with a colicky baby, I felt I was done with kids, thank you very much. I talked to the certified nurse midwives (CNM’s) that I worked with if they would take me as a patient. Just a run of the mill Gyne patient who needs birth control and an occasional pap smear. ” Of course,” they said. So as luck would have it, on my first appointment with them for a run of the mill pap smear, it turns out I was run of the mill pregnant. Sh*T! The midwives were great. They were compassionate, and pulled me off the ledge when I found out I was pregnant again, just 12 months after having a C-Section.
I never, ever, again wanted another C-Section, ever. The CNM’s were very open to letting me VBAC, and encouraged me all the way. They helped me regain my confidence back as a woman who knew she could give birth the old fashioned way. I looked forward to every visit with them. It truly was like a sisterhood. They gently explained everything they were doing, no surprises. I often had my toddler with me, and she would sit on the floor of the exam room playing with Kleenex boxes, while I was being examined. It was, and is a great RELATIONSHIP.
I have yet to write my second daughters birth story. In a nutshell, it was a very successful VBAC, in a room filled with my husband, friends and nurse midwives who I consider my friends. It was truly an empowering and magical birth. I felt completely safe and, dare I be so corny as to say, loved, in the nurse midwives hands.
I would recommend seeing a CNM not only for pregnancy, but for all your female health care needs. Pregnancy and delivery is a mere 9 months of your life. Women deserve exceptional health care their entire lives, and CNM’s will provide it.
RR
Thanks to Rebirth for starting the conversation on why choose a midwife, or become one.
