Every working mom has some form of guilt in leaving their kids in daycare or with nannies, while they go to work. It can be tough, real tough. I have mentioned before how I have missed some milestones with my kids while I was at work, like my daughter’s first tooth coming out. Other working moms have told me stories of how their kids said their first words, or took their first steps with the nanny. Word of advice to nannies, don’t tell the mom about her babies first steps with you. Keep quiet, and act real surprised if the mom tells you how she just saw her babies first steps!
Neonatal nurse-parents, have their own feelings of working guilt. We are leaving our babies at home/daycare, to take care of others/strangers, babies. It’s kind of ironic. I have discussed this very weird sense of guilt many times with my NICU peers. It really is an irrational sense of guilt, but isn’t most mommy-guilt irrational?
The other day I had planned a nice summer day with my girls. Nothing earth-shattering, just some outside fun, arts and crafts, etc. My husband was at work, and I got a desperate call from work. The unit was hitting a critical mass, and they were in dire need of some extra help. Moral dilemma coming my way. Do I continue bonding with my girls, or do I help out my colleagues (and the patients), in their time of need?
I packed my kids up and sent them to my sister’s house.
“Mommy! Why are you going to work?- missing-toothed kid.
“There is an emergency at work. They need my help.”-guilt ridden mom.
“Emergency. Did someone die?”-missing-toothed- too- smart- for- her- own-good- kid.
“No! Lot’s of babies need to be taken care of.” -guilt ridden mom.
So I left my kids, yet again, to take care of stranger’s kids. I loved the patients I took care of that crazy day, and I loved their families. It was very rewarding teaching the parents how to care for their fragile preemies, and answer their questions, and comfort them, while my sister comforted my kids.
I often think of quitting nursing, at least until my kids are grown. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my job. Corny as it sounds, caring for newborns and nurturing new families is my calling in life. I have never, ever, not once, regretted the career path I took. But as any mom can relate to, my kids are my number one priority in life. I could quit today, and feel the guilt of yet another experienced nurse letting at-risk families sway in the wind, so she could care for her own family. I saw the look of gratitude the parents gave me while I helped them care for their newborns. I saw the look of disappointment in my daughters eyes as I left them, again, to care for others.
Which look will pull me away?
RR
