Male Postpartum Depression
Posted by realityrounds on April 13, 2009
OK, I have a dirty little secret. I listen to conservative talk radio when I drive home from work (then I take a shower with bleach 
) While I was listening to conservative talk radio host Michael Medved today, he actually enlightened me to a story, and I agreed with him. Mr. Medved discussed a story he read in Newsweek about a new father’s struggle with his own postpartum depression. That’s right, the newly coined Male Postpartum Depression. Mr. Medved went on about how absurd and whiny this father sounded.
I would never be one to make light of a real mental illness, but this Male Postpartum Depression business is rather ridiculous. In the Newsweek article new daddy whines about how his life is changed forever because of junior: “But not 48 hours after we returned home with our boy, a truth dawned on me with shocking force: my life was gone. Movies, sleeping, long showers—all gone.” I laughed so hard when I read this, that milk came out of my nose, and I don’t drink milk. Movies, sleeping and long showers made up new daddy’s previous life? How sad. I can relate though. I once was called in to work over- time during American Idol, and I needed an extra dose of Zoloft just to get through the shift. True story.
There is no doubt that bringing a newborn into your home will rock your world. It is an adjustment, and it ain’t easy. It may even be harder for a new dad to adjust because they have not bulit up the bond a mom has with her child the minute she finds out she is pregnant. But I am willing to draw the line on the diagnosis of Male Postpartum Depression. As new daddy whines in Newsweek: “I fell into a well of depression so deep I wasn’t even aware of it. It was only years later, after I spoke to a psychotherapist, that I learned I was experiencing male postpartum depression.” New daddy, you did not know you were suffering from Male Postpartum Depression, because it does not exist. Mr. Psychotherapist made it up.
The final quote from new daddy that made me call a “Code Bullshit” on the diagnosis of Male Postpartum Depression was this: ” I ceded nearly complete authority to my wife, then blamed both her and my son for my feelings of loss and insignificance. I took on every parental responsibility with sucked-up reluctance on the outside and contempt on the inside. My wife seemed to consider me selfish and irresponsible. She was tired, she’d say, of parenting both of us. Even when the bickering ended, the wounds never healed. Our marriage took a fatal hit.” For the love of God, that’s not Male Postpartum Depression, that’s Caveman Syndrome (oh, I made up a new diagnosis. I think I will trademark it). New daddy wasn’t depressed. He was resentful that he had to face responsibility at home. He was not king of the castle anymore, junior was. I am sad that the marriage failed, but my guess is new mommy is better off without new daddy. To blame the end of a marriage on an infant is a cop out. New daddy should go back to Mr. Psychotherapist.
Postpartum Depression is a real diagnosis, and it is serious and it can be deadly. It has a hormonal and physiological basis. The changes a woman’s body goes through during pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum recovery is staggering. This is why this bogus Male Postpartum Depression diagnosis is insulting to me. Of course men go through a lot when they become fathers. It is undeniable that they face extreme stress and anxiety. But please do not call that adjustment Male Post Postpartum Depression. Men, find your own name like : “Male Resentment of Newborn Crying During MythBusters .”, or ” Male Angry That Seed of His Loins Makes Noise at Night.” or “Male Sad That Female Won’t Make Sexy Time With Him After Pushing 8 Pound Infant Out of Her Vageen.”
There is a vast gender disparity in health care allocation across the globe. Women suffer greatly due to inability to access healthcare. So let’s not let men and medicine hijack a uniquely female diagnosis, that turns even more attention away from women.
RR
RN-ish said
Oh Hell no! Where do these crazy diagnosis come from? Can’t woman just own this one? As soon as men go through contractions and push out a baby, they can then suffer through postpartum depression also.
Eileen said
So Viagra, Cialis and the like are produced and due to enormous popularity available OTC, yet the potential outcome of these drugs might result in conception, only to have that “outcome” result in regret/resentment resulting in the need for a new diagnosis in the DSM-IV (which I really hope is not the case) which allow for another round of meds to be prescribed to off-set the result of the first…give me a break already.
realityrounds said
And the beat goes on…….
Terese said
Depression is serious and should be treated thusly. There are countless individuals being treated for depression and probably many, many more that suffer but go undiagnosed and treated. As someone who has been treated for depression I can share that most therapists will advise their patients of “triggers” that may set-off the condition to varying degrees. A therapist may also advise their patients that depression is not caused by their environment, but that events (such as the birth of a child) might trigger the condition that they are already predisposed to or suffer from yet are not aware. I suspect this man was already predisposed to depression or suffered from it and unfortunately blamed the environment (mainly his wife and newborn child) for causing it. These may have been triggers that set off what was already a part of him in need of treatment. Unfortunately, he did not get early diagnosis and treatment and missed out on the joy of being a new parent and the bond with a new child and mother. Sad.
Shannon said
I think the cure for “male postpartum depression” is a nice dose of SUCK IT UP!
Ben said
Sounds like new daddy needs to grow a pair.
mamamia said
Puh-leeese!!! Call it “Mama’s boy syndrome” or “Peter Pan-itis” or better yet “I don’t wanna grow-up, please dont’ expect me to take on any new responsibility-ese”. The only hormonal imbalance new daddy has to deal with is the fact he might have to take “care” of himself until new mommy’s stitches heal!
Akiko said
OMG you made me laugh so hard at this post. I cannot believe that that dickhead was depressed because he had to grow up and be responsible. There is a lot of that going around it seems. Our culture nurtures the big baby syndrome for men. Miss Jackson aint the only Peter Pan out there. New Mommy is better off without jerk wad around to make her load heavier.
realityrounds said
Pathetic, isn’t it?
midwest woman said
it’s my secret pleasure too along the real housewives and the hills..glad to hear you fess up. Check out Mark Levine…makes old Rush sound like the world’s greatest humanitarian. I consider it a form of aerobic exercise….by the time time I’m finished listening, it’s got my blood pumping.
realityrounds said
Do I have to?
midwest woman said
lol…no he is such a jerk I just listen to yell at the radio.
Jill said
It is quite disturbing that someone actually gave that article the green light to be printed. A friend of mine wouldn’t watch his wife deliver their child, not because of the fluids or because he couldn’t stand the *gore* but because he *couldn’t watch something he loved so much (meaning her vagina, not her) go through all of that stress and stretching*. He then preceded to have his own bout of Male Post-partum Depression where he was forced to give up pay-per-view fight nights with the guys and after work cocktails because she wouldn’t come pick his drunk tail up.
We are facing a pansy-like epidemic of Peter Pan man-children who refuse to grow up. I hate to think that these are the role models of the future!
realityrounds said
Word of warning to women. Don’t expect your man to change, just because of a baby. You may be very disappointed.
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Nurse Gloria said
Nobody mentioned that new dads are often jealous of the attention the baby gets from mom. Family pets also are often jealous of the new baby.
SW said
I am a therapist and laughed very loudly when I read your blog. Yes, PP depression is a real mental illness with a real need for treatment. No, this man does not suffer from it. What amazes me is that he finds it easier to live with the stigma of having a mental illness than to call it what it is: extreme resistance to taking responsibility for his child and accepting parenthood and all that comes with it.
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